How I Observe Lent

 

For years, rather than “giving up something for Lent,” I have prayed for a word or a phrase to focus on during Lent. The word(s) have surprised me sometimes. One year it was “Rejoice.” Another year it was “Play,” something I’m not very good at (still). The point of “giving up something” or doing something each day of Lent is to help us focus throughout each day on God when we reach for what we have “given up” or for me, how my Lenten phrase recalls my attention to what God is asking me to do.

 One year I started writing down the ways I observed my “victim identity” shaping my personality. That Lenten observance lasted for seven years of Lents and helped me to let go of many of them. I’m far less likely to fall into “victim thinking” now.

 This year’s phrase is “Let go.” I can think of many things I need to let go of, but I’m trying to take this one of the 40 days at a time and not “think my way through” to Easter (something I’m really good at but it leaves God out of the conversation. What do you think I need to let go of, God?)

 Today, I’m trying to let God help me let go of using this day in ways that are not good for me or for who I believe God is calling me to become. I have been saying for years that I have a lot of writing I want to do, so writing this blog and another writing project are my focus for what to do with my time today as I let go of doing nothing.

 There’s nothing inherently wrong with doing nothing, it’s sometimes how I am open to new insights and clarity about who I am, but I’ve done way too much of it lately. So today I’m letting go for this moment. I may need to let go of it several times today…letting go is harder than it sounds, and I can only do it with God’s help. I’ll be interested tomorrow to see what I need to let go of tomorrow, not trying to figure it out today.

     Do you do anything as a way of observing Lent? I’m interested to hear!

Now I Become Myself (May Sarton)

 

I've been on a  journey, you know, looking for who I am, what my priorities are.
Lately I've had a lot of time for recognizing who I am: child of God, created in the image and likeness of God (yes, even me!), and spiritual director, writer, blogger.  This poem speaks so clearly to me at this season!

Now I Become Myself by May Sarton

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;

I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"Hurry, you will be dead before—"
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

Journey to Jerusalem through Lent 1

         Today we begin our journey through the 40 days of Lent. Many of us will receive and wear our ashes to remind us that we are mortal, and as a sign of our desire to follow Jesus all the way to Jerusalem and the cross. Jesus recognizes that it is time to start that journey:

When the days drew near for him to be taken up, he set his face to go to Jerusalem. (Luke 9:51)

        The disciples are also on this journey with us and with Jesus.  They have been following Jesus for the three years of his ministry, watching him heal, teach, and challenge the religious authorities of his day. He has told stories (parables), and he has shown his dependence on his Abba, God-the-Father, who sent him, God-the-Son, to show us new ways of understanding God’s tremendous love for us. Now, the disciples will walk with Jesus toward all that will happen in Jerusalem.  They don’t know what will happen, although we do.  And they still have a lot to learn from him, just as we do. Each Wednesday until Holy Week, I will post one of these reflections on how Jesus continued teaching along the journey to Jerusalem.

In the very next verses of Luke 9 (9:52-55), two of the disciples, James and John, angered because the Samaritans will not allow them to rest in their village, urge Jesus to call down fire from heaven to destroy the village. Clearly, they understand that Jesus has the power from God to do this; just as clearly, they don’t understand that is completely inconsistent with his mission.

Then, others wish to join Jesus and the disciples (Luke 57-62), but they have other priorities: desire to be comfortable and secure, to first bury a father, to say farewell to those he is about to leave. But Jesus makes it clear that following him must always take priority:  “Jesus said to him, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62)

For the most part, we will all be comfortable and secure during this Lent, and we will be able to fulfill our responsibilities to ourselves and others. But as we choose to observe Lent this year, may we be reminded of our commitment to follow Jesus by how we live our faith. If we have chosen a practice for Lent, whether we have chosen to deny ourselves something or to fast from some negative emotion (anger, complaining, resentment, or another) or to do some special reading or prayers, may we be reminded each day of our vocation as his committed followers.                                                                                                 

Prayer (by Satish Kumar): May God kindle in us the fire of love to bring us alive and give warmth to the world. Lead us from death to life; from falsehood to truth. Lead us from despair to hope, from fear to trust. Lead us from hate to love, from war to peace. Let peace fill our hearts, our world, our universe.

 

God's Playfulness (Celebrating Mardi Gras)

 

God’s Playfulness

        Have you ever thought there may be a playful side to God? As I watch some of the festivities for Mardi Gras, your playfulness and joy are delightful! I believe God is delighting in your joy, too. There is a lot of evidence in creation that God has a sense of humor! These are just a few of the insects that tell me so!

ADEGSM/Getty Images

                                   Shawn Thomas/Getty Images

Mardi Gras (“Fat Tuesday” in French) has become one of the most playful days of the Christian year. Lent has been and continues to be for some, 40 days of “giving up” something as way of reminding ourselves of our dependence on God. The day before Lent starts has become a day for extravagantly colorful playfulness. 

       God plays, too, with extravagant colors and combinations of creatures:

There is the sea, vast and wide, with its moving swarms past counting, living things great and small. The ships are moving there and the monsters you made to play with. (Ps 104:25-26, NABR)

        Children NEED to play to learn. But some of us feel that to please God as adults we must be serious all the time. Jesus says this:

²He called a child, whom he put among them, ³and said, ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. ⁴Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2-4)

Humility is one of the keys to being like a little child, to relax enough to be silly, playful, open to delight as God has created us in His image and likeness.       “For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with victory.” (Psalm 149:4) There is no room for pride in play and laughter! So let’s play and laugh to the glory of God!

Prayer Suggestion: Beloved Lord, you created us with delight and the gifts of playfulness and humor. May we cherish and enjoy these gifts, especially on this “Fat Tuesday” as we celebrate playfulness.  Amen.

The Only Thing We Have to Fear is Fear Itself Devotional Thursday 3/26/20

        Many of you at St. Mary’s Woods may remember this line from FDR’s first Inaugural Address.  I woke up with this line in my head this morning, and I spent some time talking with God about things I am sometimes more afraid of than fear.  We do have reasons to be fearful in these days, I will not deny it.  But (you knew I would say “but,” didn’t you?) something I have learned about fear and anxiety in my spiritual journey is that I ALWAYS have a choice to make when I feel fear.

        “Do not be afraid” occurs more times in the Bible than anything else except “God is love.” So many people in the Bible respond initially with great fear to the appearance of an angel, so God knows that we will feel fear.  But we can choose to focus on the fear, or we can choose to turn our attention toward our Lord who loves us with such great love that Jesus our Savior went all the way through suffering and death to overcome our fears and forgive our sins.  When we are feeling stuck or helpless or afraid of what may happen, turn toward God and God’s “perfect love will cast out our fear.” (1 John 4:18a) It may not be instant, we may have to keep turning toward God, but God will cleanse us of our fears. And that will be a gift from God, and through it God will reduce the effects of fear on our body and our mind and our spirit.

Nancy Waldo, St. Mary’s Woods

2 Timothy 1:6-7 For this reason I remind you to rekindle the gift of God that is within you… for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.

Luke 12:22, 25-26 [Jesus] said to his disciples, ‘Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat, or about your body, what you will wear. … And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest?

Prayer Suggestion: As you continue to pray for protection and health for yourself and your family members, add a prayer today for God to ease the fears of so many people who may not know that they have a choice to turn away from fear toward God.

I Wonder What God is Doing with Us in This Time Devotional Wednesday 3/25/20

        I am getting very curious about all the ways that God is with us and working in us and in our world during these difficult days.  We know that God is with us, God is suffering with us, and I believe that God is working all over the world. 

        I’ve seen some good news about ways that people are helping one another. A lot of companies are working to find treatments and cures, while other companies are changing what they make.  Fashion companies are making protective gear for health care workers, distilleries are making hand sanitizer.  People are finding many ways to help one another get what they need. Teachers are learning new ways to educate their students.  Many people are learning new ways to live at a distance and still be happy. 

        None of this means that this is not hard, or that it will stop being hard soon.  But I do need to hear good news even on days when there is a lot of hard news. So I give God thanks and praise for many blessings, even some we don’t know about yet.  I believe we will look back on this time and see how God is healing, creating, and blessing us.

Nancy Waldo, St. Mary’s Woods

Prayer of Thomas Merton: My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Amen. 

Prayer Suggestion: As you continue to pray for protection and health for yourself and your family members, add a prayer today for those who are unable to understand what is happening, like young children and people with intellectual disabilities and people who do not understand English.

God Knows All the Things We Do Not Know Devotional Tuesday 3/24/20

        One of the things that can be hardest during this time, especially as it becomes a longer time of not knowing, is that many of the things we thought we could be certain about, we cannot be certain about in these days.  We don’t know how long these restrictions or the virus or the separations from family and friends will last. We don’t know if any of our friends or family might get sick.  So many things are not normal in these days, and that can add to our discomfort.  We may even feel some sadness because we cannot plan to do things we are used to doing.

        I am finding it helpful to remind myself that God DOES know everything that we don’t know.  At the same time, we can be part of how God is working in this difficult time by the ways we participate in keeping all of us healthy.  Keeping a safe distance from one another (six feet is the recommendation), staying in the building, finding ways to stay calm, staying connected to God, praying for our families and one another, these are all ways that we cooperate with God’s work.  We know you are doing everything you can to cooperate with the ways we are asking you to do things differently, and we appreciate that VERY much.

        After the Prayer Suggestion, I’ve included a prayer entitled “Waiting,” which I have found to be helpful.

Nancy Waldo, St. Mary’s Woods

1 Thessalonians 5:16-19, 21-23

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. …. hold fast to what is good; abstain from every form of evil.

May the God of peace himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept sound and blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Prayer Suggestion: When you go to the Lord in prayer today, in addition to praying for protection for your health and that of your loved ones, add a prayer for every person who does not have faith in God, so that each may hear somehow that God loves each one very much.

“Waiting” by Sharlande Sledge

Look upon us gently, Lord,

for waiting is not our forte.

So many other things are...

Things like moving ahead,

fixing what’s wrong,

planning what’s next,

diagnosing the problem,

cramming more into a day

than one person can possibly do

before the sun goes down.

But waiting...

When we are waiting for the light to shine,

when we are waiting for the Word,

when we are waiting for the wound to heal,

nothing in all the world

is harder than waiting.

So, in your mercy, Lord,

Wait with us.

Be our very present help in waiting.

Heal our frenzy.

Calm our fears.

Comfort those who at this very minute

are with every anxious breath and thought

waiting for they know-not-what.

Transform our in-the-meantime

into your time,

while we wait with each other,

sit with each other,

pray each other into hope,

surrounded by your presence,

even in the darkness.

Especially in the darkness.

From Prayers and Litanies for the Christian Seasons (1999)