Review: Reborn Again: Crucifying Christendom & Resurrecting a Radical, by Christopher VanHall

Reborn Again: Crucifying Christendom & Resurrecting a Radical

Christopher VanHall

I found this a fascinating and challenging read.  My fascination is with the process he is describing.  The author is very open about how his painful journey out of conservative evangelicalism wounded and drove him to explore very different understandings of Jesus, the Gospel, and the “place of the church in the 21^st century” (from the back).  His passion and his enthusiasm radiate throughout the book.

Reading the book felt like an energetic conversation with a brilliant and inquiring mind with which I did not always agree. What I found challenging as I am on my own journey of trying to articulate new ways of understanding Jesus and the Gospel is that he makes a number of statements that stopped my reading and raised questions for which his answers made me question his scholarship. VanHall’s “answers” raised more questions yet.  Some of his interpretations of biblical passages I found enlightening, others raised my eyebrows high as my own knowledge of the Bible, biblical studies, Christian history, and theology made me dubious of those statements, and some made me hasten to search for where he might have gotten it. One example that really raised my eyebrows was that “John’s understanding of the gospel is a massive distortion of the good news that the historical Jesus preached.” (p. 56) I don’t see it that way, but it’s an interesting statement that will make me look again at the Gospel of John. But that is part of the challenge of this book and this author’s journey. (He does provide a short list of books that have been important to him along the way.)

Reacting to his wounds appears to still be a major thread of who he is becoming and how he is processing; I understand that, as I have spent many years seeking healing from trauma.  I don’t know that we ever completely heal from trauma.  He is honest at the beginning that he will be using a lot of language that is not usually acceptable in faith circles, and why. I understand that these words seem to help him articulate what he is saying. Although I certainly have used these words on occasions, his use of them gave me the impression that he is still so angry at the distortions of evangelicalism that he uses these words rather than articulate his challenge in ways that would deepen his critique.

It seems to me that his theology is still in fairly early stages of development. It will be interesting to read a book that he might write in 10 years. I would recommend this book for believers who are questioning all that they have been taught about God, and who are seeking help in that process. I would hope, however, that they not take everything he said as a “final conclusion,” but let the book challenge them to explore the ideas and make up their own minds.

There are a few ways that the structuring of the book fell short of helpful.  Almost none of the scripture passages are identified, which I found disconcerting even though I have a fairly thorough knowledge of scripture.  And the lack of footnotes or endnotes was very frustrating.

I appreciated his anecdotes, as they were excellent and engaging illustrations of his journey.  The book is well-written and would be an enjoyable read for anyone on a similar journey.  I would encourage such readers to let it stimulate their own questions and search for answers.

As I was reading, especially toward the end of the book, I was saddened to recognize my own belief in the limitations of the Church’s ability to change.  I felt that VanHall’s hope may be unrealistic:

“My desire for the Church is to admit that it is past time for us to strive to become better. The Church must endorse humanity’s continued pursuit in the discovery of new scientific truths while helping society navigate our future with the ancient moral truths of love and justice.  This is our calling, because God’s story did not end with the Scriptures.” (p. 197)

However, his vision, as the many varied hopeful visions are arising, I see as part of the growing call of God for the Church to change (even if it means some traditions will have to be jettisoned in order for the Body of Christ to become a more viable way of serving God’s purposes).

#RebornAgain

I received a copy of this book from speakeasy for review purposes.

Review: Faith Lies: Seven Incomplete Ideas that Hijack Faith and How to See Beyond Them by Darrell Smith

I was excited to receive my review copy of Faith Lies.  When I first started reading it, I felt a little puzzled, wondering who this is intended to reach.  I found the Introduction rather long, almost anxious in establishing the premise, and throughout the references to pop culture (movies, songs, etc.) are quite dated and obscure. (Although I recognize this could be because I have “opted out” of much popular culture for a long time…)

However, as I kept reading, I found my attention deepening.  I consider myself very progressive, although I minister with elders who are quite traditional and many are very conservative.  I thought I had worked through a lot of these “incomplete ideas,” but as I read I found myself recognizing many ways there is still residue from them that is affecting my spiritual life and how I view the world.  Darrell’s very “conversational” writing, theological depth, and broad perspective on the life of faith touched me deeply, particularly “Lie 2: God is Angry and Doesn’t Like Me.” I even used some small quotes from this chapter in worship on Sunday, and they were very well received by these same elders.

I am curious about the many references to “my rabbi” (I think Darrell is using this in the etymological sense of “teacher”?), and wondered if this and much other language about Judaism might make this less accessible to Christians who are in the process of deconstructing these lies.  As I read, however, I realized that these both deepen and broaden the scope and reach of the book.  As a seminary graduate and spiritual director, I found the scholarship and emphasis on the full history of relationship with God, for Jews and Christians alike, to be very illuminating.  I also have come to recognize that while people who are in the early stages of deconstructing these lies might have some difficulty with this, in spite of Darrell’s frequent reassurance, they may not be the most important audience for this book.

This book will be invaluable for several categories of readers.  People who have been deconstructing what they learned in evangelical circles from which they have disconnected (willingly or unwillingly), but have felt bewildered at times by the complexity of the journey, these will find this very helpful and encouraging.  I could envision groups of such people, whether they have become “dones” (with church) or are seeking community in mainstream or more progressive churches, finding this helpful as a book to read together and discuss. Such an experience might be very liberating.  Individuals who aren’t connected with a spiritual community might find this very encouraging and helpful in urging connection with other people of faith who are on similar journeys.

But I think the people who might find this most helpful are those who minister, as pastors, lay leaders, spiritual directors, and in other capacities, with people who are working through these issues.  The book is going to affect how I respond to those who are questioning, and it is going to have some effect (not sure yet what) on how I use language with the elders who are my responsibility.  I’m not going to confront their traditional views head-on, but what I learned from this book will help me to continue choosing language that reflects freedom from these lies.  I’ve been doing that, but I foresee that I will be assisted in that process by this book.

I definitely recommend this book for a broad audience of readers who are questioning, or ministering with those who are questioning, what they have been taught about God and about faith, and wondering what those questions mean for their relationship with God. This will be helpful in reassuring and encouraging them to deepen and broaden their understanding of what it means to follow Jesus.

I received a free copy of this book for the purpose of reviewing it. #FaithLies

Living Our Faith in This Difficult Time

I read an article this recently entitled “How To Stay Calm When You’re So Overwhelmed by Bad News You can Hardly Move.”

http://mashable.com/2017/01/30/trump-presidency-overwhelmed/#_jSQ3lyHeOqr

And this offers some practical secular suggestions that may be helpful.

I’ve seen a few articles that offer suggestions for faith-based actions to take, in particular “Practicing Your Faith in the Age of Trump,”

https://www.baptiststandard.com/opinion/editorial/19893-editorial-practicing-faith-in-the-age-of-trump

which was helpful, more action focused. But I haven’t seen much on spiritual practices as we live our faith in these challenging days.

Here are some suggestions:

• ·         Stay in the present moment, returning to it each time we feel our anxiety about the future rising up within us. This is a spiritual practice because we DON’T know what will happen in the future—only God does. Some of the ways I do this include wiggling my toes (I know it sounds silly, but it helps to ground me), taking a deep breath and letting it all the way out, and saying “I trust you, God.” Very little in our culture supports this, so it isn’t easy, but it makes a great deal of difference to me as I practice this.
• ·         Spend time in silent prayer daily, more than once a day if you are drawn by God to this. This is another way of saying “I trust you, God.” “I trust you enough to put aside my questions, petitions, my frantic seeking for answers, my fears and even my hopes.”  Centering prayer, 20 minutes of focusing on God (using a word to recall my attention to God), is one very helpful way to practice this kind of prayer. Spending quiet time in nature is another. Remember that it is our intention to be silent in the presence of God, but that it is only God who can still our minds to silence. So when my mind chatters or my to-do-list interrupts my prayer time, I speak (silently) and as often as necessary my focus word, without judging or impatience.  Right now, it is “Abba,” the word Jesus used to address God his Father.
• ·         Ask often, “where is God in this time?” When I spend time on Facebook or the news, I look for people, events, prayers, comments and other ways I see God at work in these days.  Calls to and acts of resistance, reaching out to decision-makers with my comments, witnessing the courage of others, prayers written by others, there are so many ways that I see God active in this time.
• ·         Stay connected with others seeking to live their faith in hope and trust. None of us can do this alone, even with God’s help. Faith groups, friends, social media can all be ways of finding others who are committed to living faithfully our faith in God. I am an introvert and also physically not able at this time to march, but in my time on Facebook, I respond with encouragement, positive comments, sharing posts that I think others might find helpful.
• ·         Pray for our leaders, national and international, clergy, local and state government, civic associations, grassroots organizations. We can pray however God guides us, but some suggestions: for God to guide their decisions; for God to fill their hearts with love; for God to hold them accountable. I have not always done this, but I am coming to take 1 Timothy 2: 1-3 more and more seriously. (“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings should be made for everyone, for kings and all who are in high positions, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and dignity. This is right and is acceptable in the sight of God our Savior.”) I also find myself praying more and more often that God will overpower with his love those who appear to be living from hatred and greed, recognizing that this requires me to try to love them, with God’s help. I’m not there yet, God has a lot of work to do in me!
• ·         Resist temptations to stay in despair, hopelessness, fear, anxiety, outrage. These are all normal human feelings, but when we “feed” them by our attention, they grow and are serious distractions from trusting God and walking in faith.  We need to do this ourselves, and we also do this for others around us who may not know God’s love and God’s power to overcome evil.
• ·         Keep our eyes on Jesus, not only to learn about God’s enormous commitment to love each of us, but to learn both practical actions to take in God’s service, and to follow Jesus example of focusing his righteous anger, in cleansing the temple of greedy vendors (Matthew 21:12-13), in confronting hypocrisy (Matthew 7:1, 5) and hard-heartedness (Mark 3:5), superiority (Luke 11:42-52), in correcting his disciples (Matthew 10:13-16, Matthew 16:23), and, most important, in following his call all the way through the consequences on the cross. I do not mean that we will be crucified, but there will be consequences, almost certainly, as we protest and resist.
• ·         Take care of body and spirit.  This is one I struggle with the most, and am having to seek God’s help with more than the others, which, to some degree, have become part of how I live my faith through this long journey of seeking God daily. My body (including my mind and emotions) is a gift from God and I am learning slowly to treat my physical, mental and emotional being with greater respect and appreciation. In addition to all the “normal” stressors of daily life, we are now living in a time of great stress because of uncertainty about what will happen, so many possibilities of awful things, negativity coming at us from many directions, things we hold dear or necessary under threat…. I will not be able to stay focused, active, determined if I allow these additional stressors to affect my health and energy. Taking breaks, resting, staying hydrated and fed, moving in ways that feel good and help my muscles,cultivating gentleness and joy, these are all things I CAN do, when there is so much about which I CAN’T do anything.

I know this sounds like an awful lot, and I confess that I don’t manage to do all of these every day. I am dependent on God for what I do and how I live. But the whole purpose of these is to seek God’s help and grace and an ever-deepening relationship with the One who is calling me to become more and more like God’s image. May you grow in love and in joy in being all that you are called to become.

What Gives Me Hope?

What Gives Me Hope?

I am struggling with a lot of fear and anxiety these days, and I observe how these deplete my energy and distract me from my faith and my ability to take positive action.  I get caught up in “what ifs?” and there are no assurances that they won’t happen.

What if I don’t have insurance, get sick, unable to work and homeless, and die? What if my country is taken over by billionaires and destroyed? What if the end of the ACA means many people with preexisting conditions die? What if the environment is destroyed by fracking, drilling, pollution, global warming, and “natural disasters”? What if more species become extinct because there is no longer any protection for them or for their habitat? What if freedoms of speech, assembly, the press are curtailed? What if abortion is once again criminalized? What if marriage equality is overturned?

I’m experiencing, not quite flashbacks, maybe “flashbits,”to times when my physical body, my wants and “won’ts” were regularly violated, my needs neglected, without anyone to turn to for assistance. I felt helpless, alone, and overwhelmed. I developed coping strategies (dissociation, escapist reading, numbing with food, etc.). And I SURVIVED. I’ve spent many years seeking healing from abuse, and as I healed, I often heard negative “voices” challenging my right to health, happiness, joy, connection. These were angry, abusive voices, and I’m hearing echoes every day that are frighteningly familiar. Only this time, it is my country, my neighbors, God’s creation, our freedom and many other rights, that are being violated. Daily we are seeing freedoms threatened, lies promulgated as truth (“alternative facts”), distortions of “law and order” in the service of control, most of the progress of the past 50+ years (most of my lifetime) being reversed or under threat of being overturned. And the temptation is to seek comfort in ways that got me through abuse and through the challenges of healing. But those coping strategies are no longer appropriate or effective. So what do I do?

When I focus on what-ifs, I can become mired in despair and apathy—I have learned that when that happens, I need to turn my attention away from believing that I KNOW what will happen. I need to keep returning to this moment, this is where I find my strength. As a person of faith, I turn to God with my prayers for courage and strength. And lately, I’m hearing “VOICES” every day that remind me that there is power in our commitments to our values, our freedom. Here are a few:

·         The Women’s Marches

·         Rev. William Barber https://thinkprogress.org/rev-barber-moral-change-1ad2776df7c#.3i41jbl4q

·         Peter Leyden https://shift.newco.co/https-medium-com-peteleyden-why-trumps-inauguration-is-not-the-beginning-of-an-era-but-the-end-72a86833f0a3#.rtyb0ne0l

·         Parker Palmer http://www.onbeing.org/blog/parker-palmer-the-soul-of-a-patriot/9146

·         Marv Knox https://www.baptiststandard.com/opinion/editorial/19893-editorial-practicing-faith-in-the-age-of-trump

·         “Lead on, o king eternal” https://www.flashlyrics.com/lyrics/glad/lead-on-o-king-eternal-94

·         Pantsuit Nation

·         Rebecca Solnit, "Hope is an ax you break down doors with in an emergency; because hope should shove you out the door, because it will take everything you have to steer the future away from endless war, from the annihilation of the earth's treasures and the grinding down of the poor and marginalized. Hope just means another world might be possible, not promised, not guaranteed. Hope calls for action; action is impossible without hope." (Hope in the Dark: Untold Stories and Wild Possibilities)

I’m not physically able to march at this point in my life, but I can write and I can listen and I can share what gives me hope.  What gives you hope?

The Price of an Orgasm

I’ve been silent for too long, uncomfortable and reluctant to deal with my anger.  The article in the Huffington Post a few weeks ago about the experience of a sexual assault survivor, the response she heard from a college administrator, “I thought it was reasonable for him to penetrate you for a few more minutes if he was going to finish.”  The comment from Brock Turner’s father, prison would be “a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action.” The growing number of rape cases where the interests of the perpetrator are more important than justice for the victim/survivor. The sexual assault confession of DT and the growing number of reports from women and men about their/our experiences of sexual abuse and sexual assault.

I have come a very long way in the healing process. The anger at my father’s molestation (from around 12-18 months until I left for college) and my mother’s failure to protect me and denial that anything happened, has less and less power to limit my activities and my freedom. Yet I still struggle, and probably always will, to move beyond my identity as a clergy incest survivor.  I still live with PTSD and its effects on my energy, my ability to work, my ability to take care of myself.  And it’s clear from my reactions lately that I still have a lot of anger in me, about the ways so many men believe their sexual needs trump (pun intended) the needs of the women they violate. About the ways judges and administrators consider the future of young rapists more important than care for those of us who live with the forever effects of being violated. About the huge number of men who think sexual assault can be dismissed as “locker room talk,” machismo (by a “clergyman”—Pat Robertson, no less). About the pain so many of us feel because our experience is denied or perpetrators excused and our pain and anger are belittled.

I have come a very long way in the healing process.  I have worked extremely hard in therapy and “doing the inner work” to find healing and most days I am able to live well and enjoy life. I’m at a place in my life where I no longer need to focus so much energy on healing—but I’m realizing that my desire to write (since I was in high school) requires the energy of my anger: the content of what I have to write has to include using what I have learned as a way to collaborate with God in the world’s healing.  I need to join my voice to those who are increasingly outraged by the indifference and injustice and acceptance of violence against women as “normal.” That is one form my writing will take.  There are other forms—stay tuned!

I also need to share with other survivors who need to know that the work of healing is worth all the effort. I need to share with those who work with survivors what has helped (or hindered) my healing experience.  But most of all, I need to share how my relationship with God has sustained me throughout the process.  Yes, I was angry at God at one point for “allowing the abuses to happen,” and I needed to go through that anger in order to come to understand that God never “allows” evil—but that we are all free to choose to do evil. And the power to refrain from doing evil, to choose to be a force for healing in cooperation with God, has its roots in God’s love, without which we would cease to exist. 

God’s love, the love of those who have supported me along the way, the love for myself which has slowly grown over the many years of letting in God’s love, has been tremendously freeing of the pain that was the result of the abuses. I am who I am not because of what my parents did, but because of what God has done to heal my pain.

Adventures in Soulmaking by Dr. Troy Caldwell

This is a fascinating book, and may be of interest to many people.  I enjoyed the stories and the concepts.  And I’m sure Dr. Caldwell has been a great blessing to his patients and directees. However, as I read, I kept feeling very cautious and concerned about the purpose and impact of the book. 

I’m not sure the book fulfills what is perhaps its most important intended purpose for several reasons.  Dr. Caldwell does tell stories, wonderfully; he does convey to a “wider audience” an understanding of patterns in the Christian spiritual passage; and this book may encourage readers to take a more conscious spiritual journey.  And it may inspire other helping professionals, pastors and spiritual directors to explore further the concepts contained within it (p. 7). But I felt a lot of concern about whether the book could really serve to provide “tools” for this kind of work. As a spiritual director myself, and as a person who has a wide experience of therapies for healing and spiritual growth, I would be very hesitant to undertake most of these techniques (except under inspiration from God and with careful consultation with a clinician) as I believe some of them have the potential for results which need the attention of a clinician of Dr. Caldwell’s high caliber.  I would also be hesitant (and prayerful) about whether to recommend this to Christians unless they were at the point of seeking the deeper connections Dr. Caldwell describes.  Less mature Christians might find this book to be challenging and distracting from their formation as disciples, which must occur before seeking to go deeper in ways that God directs. I would rely on prayerful discernment about any recommendations.

One other concern I felt was that sometimes Dr. Caldwell’s assertions, particularly about Jungian concepts, do not leave room for the breadth of interpretation which Jung generally intended.  For example, I do not believe that equating the Shadow with sin is an adequate understanding of the Shadow, which is not always a negative part of our psyche, but may also be the “seat of creativity.”

I also found the book to be awkwardly designed and not as well organized as I would hope such a book would be.  Indices of concepts, scripture passages, and stories would be very helpful. And I kept wondering how a professional editor and book designer would have helped this to become a more coherent book which flows well from beginning to end.

I wish that I could be more positive about this book.  The intention and the aspirations for such a book are much needed. I do recommend it as a fascinating book to read, but do not believe it meets its goals in a way that would make it as ground-breaking and time-tested as Gerald May’s work in this area.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the author and/or publisher through the Speakeasy blogging book review network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR,Part 255.

 

The Coming Interspiritual Age (Review)

The Coming Interspiritual Age, Kurt Johnson and David Robert Ord (Namaste Publishing, 2012)

The authors have written a compendium of large scope about the growing movement toward understanding that all religious traditions have common core experiences and concerns, and that there is much to be learned from sharing across traditions (interspirituality). Much of the book is about the evolution of all spirituality, starting with the Big Bang (!), and includes valuable historical perspective on how we (globally) have arrived where we are today.

I have been very interested in interspirituality for a number of years, and I am familiar enough with the movement to recognize that this is an excellent resource for students (and teachers) of spirituality. It is well written, although several agendas show through: interspirituality is couched as the only possible way of avoiding dire consequences of materialism (graphically depicted); it appears to me to be portrayed by the authors as separate from the historical traditions of the major religions; it links interspirituality very closely with the integralist movement toward unity of consciousness (based much on the work of Ken Wilbur), which I believe does a disservice to the possibilities of interspirituality. None of these in and of itself is a reason not to read the book, but these do demonstrate to me some limitations of this work.

I have several concerns about gaps in their scholarship.  There is no index, and given the number of sources they cite throughout the pages, this makes it much harder to assess their scholarship or find references without much difficulty.  (There is a bibliography of writings, but it does not include the many statistical studies that they cite.) But my biggest concerns are about gaps in their treatment that I found very jarring. 

There is a minimal treatment of the “rise of the feminine voice,” with too much emphasis on motherhood for my taste.  While they end their assessment of the feminine voice (less than 5 pages) on what might be considered a positive note (“the feminine is also the voice of unity, which is crucial for a realized consciousness,” p. 322), overall this is a fairly patriarchal assessment of the value of the much-neglected feminine aspect of humanity.

I found myself hunting assiduously for any reference to the growing numbers of “spiritual but not religious” seekers, but found not one.  Since this term was first proposed as early as 2001, perhaps earlier, and is a growing component of spiritual seeking, this is a serious lack.  There is also NO mention of the “emerging/emergent church” movement, which is globally responding to dissatisfaction with institutional Christianity.  Given the scope of the book, these merited at least mention as part of “where we are now.”  The complete neglect of these two growing responses to the felt needs, an important part of the contemporary spiritual landscape, made me very concerned with the objectives of the authors.  It is not just in crossing the boundaries of religious traditions that interspirituality has its value, but in what we can learn from interspirituality that illuminates our traditions. This has been a powerful effect of interspirituality on me personally, and on others whom I know, and I was disappointed in its exclusion.

This book has value, and is worth exploring, with these caveats in mind.

I received a review copy of this book from Speakeasy.