A Single Eye on God's Love

I have a very hard time sleeping--or rather, I have a hard time getting to sleep.  I have been realizing lately that this may be due, in part, to how hard it is for me to let go of trying; as long as I am awake, I might, just might, reach that elusive moment where I am satisfied--with my self, with my life, in my body.  In my heart I know this is completely unattainable, but my "monkey mind" keeps insisting if I try just a little harder, think a little more deeply, read just one more paragraph, even pray just a little harder, I WILL "get there."

Last night my "last paragraph" was in Richard Rohr's The Naked Eye:  Seeing as the Mystics See.  It's not as if I have never heard this before, but these sentences struck "home":

God does not love us because we are that good.  God loves us because God is good.  That changes everything. (p. 79)

You mean God loves me as imperfect, unfinished, fearful, anxious, as I know myself to be?  You mean I don't have to EARN God's love?

Somehow (grace, maybe?) I heard this at a deeper level last night.  And as I was going to sleep, I kept re-focusing on God's love.  My body and my mind relaxed deeply, my restless heart resting in God.  As I woke rested this morning, I continued this focus.  I know I will have to let God draw me back, over and over, to that single focus on God's love through which all else shifts into divine balance.  I know I am not capable of keeping that focus--but I don't have to be the one to make it happen.

Lord, help me focus my single eye on your love today, in all that I do (or don't do), trusting in your love as the ground of my being.  Let all my choices today be made from knowing you love me as I am, as you are creating me to be, not as I try (and fail) to make myself in the image I have of the person who would earn your love.  Into your care, Lord.